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Here are all the entries about: Seinfeld-esque


Ashton Hearts Himself Moore

June 25, 2007
Part of: Gossip , Hollywood , LA , Seinfeld-esque

Click Photos to Enlarge 1. DEMI: "Yes, I'm hot and he's hot." ASHTON: "I'll always be hotter than she is because I'm younger and a guy." 2. DEMI: "He's all mine ladies and gents!! ALL MINE!!!!! ASHTON: "Damn, Demi...[More]

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Stoned!

March 15, 2006
Part of: Gossip , Hollywood , Seinfeld-esque , Stoned! , Television

--“Desperate Housewives” should be called “Desperate Actresses.” That’s what I’ll name my new pilot! It’s a story about an ensemble cast of actresses who are so desperate to stay in the spotlight that their lives revolve around topping each...[More]

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The Grass is Always Greener

February 22, 2006
Part of: Food , Hollywood , LA , Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a rice krispie treat and green tea] DK and I had brunch at Barneys Greengrass on Sunday. It was weird, cuz our waiter was acting all stressed out even though it was 2:30 pm and the restaurant was a...[More]

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The Lobster and Miss Hollywood Assistant

February 17, 2006
Part of: Food , Hollywood , LA , Rant , Seinfeld-esque

DK and I went to The Lobster for Valentine’s Day where we got to stuff ourselves with spiny Pacific lobster and Veuve Clicquot. It was the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner except for the annoying couple sitting next to us....[More]

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Dogs Eat Children in India

February 13, 2006
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a breakfast quesadilla with turkey bacon, mozzarella and spinach] Parts of a conversation between two fiftysomething women at Cafe Vida in the Pacific Palisades. Pacific Palisades vs. Santa Monica "I had thought about renting office space in Santa Monica,...[More]

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The Writing on the Table

January 04, 2006
Part of: Food , LA , Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a chocolate chip cappuccino muffin and an English Breakfast tea] Dating sucks. All that talk about having fun and getting to know different people is BS. Guys think that women have it better because they can get free meals...[More]

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The Jerk

October 19, 2005
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: cinnamon/ginger yogurt] DK got a second note on his car. When he told me this, I assumed that it was from the same person who left the first one. Maybe we’d have to take the note to the police....[More]

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Pretty In Pink

September 29, 2005
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a pumpkin and chocolate chip tofu muffin] I’m glad that I’m sick and can’t make my friend’s Vegas Bachelorette party this weekend. One of her bridesmaids is acting more like a maid of honor and has become a Nazi*...[More]

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What Goes Around Comes Around

July 21, 2005
Part of: Food , Seinfeld-esque

Updated [Breakfast: a handful of red grapes and a soy green tea latte] Don’t hate me for making a recipe from The South Beach Diet book. I’m not a recipe snob, and DK thought it was one of the tastiest...[More]

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Conversations at The Coral Tree Cafe

July 11, 2005
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: steel cut oatmeal with brown sugar] A girl in her early thirties asked her law school friend, "How long do people stay on death row for?" 4 girls in sweats: "Did you get your makeup done?" "No." "Your face...[More]

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Pussy Whipped- A Vagina Monologue

June 08, 2005
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a green tea soy latte] The Regular Bikini Wax - Removes all hair outside of the panty line. The Brazilian Bikini Wax - Leaves a vertical stripe or triangular shape in the vaginal area, two to three fingers in...[More]

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The Tree Trimmer

June 05, 2005
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Trick Or Treat

[Breakfast: a cappuccino chip muffin] I was waiting for my friend after her comedy show the other night. Because I was bored, I decided to make small talk with a twentysomething guy, Joe, who was cleaning up the theatre. “Is...[More]

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Mind the Gap

June 01, 2005
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a lemon poppy seed scone] I am very particular about where I sit in restaurants. DK and I tend to be more spur-of-the-moment kind of people, so we can’t always get prime seats. Friday night, at our favorite Italian...[More]

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You're so Nice --Part 2

October 12, 2004
Part of: Rant , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: everything bagel with cream cheese and organic Costa Rican coffee I walked in from brunch and decided to check on my laundry. I could sneak around the back, but then realized that the back door wasn’t open. There wasn’t...[More]

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You're so Nice

October 05, 2004
Part of: Rant , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: super florentine omelette sans mushrooms= spinach, goat cheese (instead of cheddar cheese), chicken apple sausage(instead of spicy sausage)onions and coffee from Bread and Porridge. You know those people who are too nice? Those are the dangerous ones. They’re the...[More]

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Food, Sex and Comedy

August 26, 2004
Part of: Food , Gossip , LA , Seinfeld-esque

[Brunch: Leftovers from last night and Chardonnay] I’ve always been smug about the fact that no one can stalk me, because my schedule is never the same. Last night, I went to Joe’s in Venice on a date. I had...[More]

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Italian Trash and Self-Realizations

August 24, 2004
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: Asiago and parmesan bagel with vegetable cream cheese. I’m at the Self-Realization Center in Encinitas. It’s so peaceful and beautiful, except for the loud tourists who only came for the ocean view. I’m sitting on a white marble bench....[More]

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Pussy Cat Theatrics

August 18, 2004
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: Balance Bar (honey peanut)] On my mini-break, I was sitting in the sun wearing a straw hat and my glamorous sunglasses that remind me of the nice Persol’s that someone stole from me. Two older women (over 50) who...[More]

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LA's Oral Fixation of Choice

August 09, 2004
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: a slice of cantaloupe and black coffee I stopped by Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in Malibu the other day. I had just had an Ice Blended Mocha™ the day before and was already craving one again. I used...[More]

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Girls Never Sweat

August 02, 2004
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: French Toast Great. More blue ink in my (paper) journal. I only like writing with black ink. I’ve had quite a few embarrassing things happen to me recently. Previously at my brunch at Geoffrey’s, I walked part of the...[More]

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Hollywood Quote Du La Semaine

July 26, 2004
Part of: Hollywood , Seinfeld-esque

Updated Breakfast: toasted baguette with strawberry jam and butter I was staring at the cheese spread trying to figure out the different kinds. The Charles Shaw chardonnay I was swigging was so-so. Trader Joe’s goes through wine hype and Charles...[More]

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I’m Black Inside

July 02, 2004
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: "this apple walks into a bar..." cereal bar from Trader Joes's 11:09 AM Wake up. For some reason I’ve been extra tired lately and have been opening my eyes at exactly 11:09 AM. I wake up before then, but...[More]

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I Heart Fox

May 04, 2004
Part of: LA , Literati , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: Banana Nutri Grain Bar/ Chubby Hubby Ice Cream My Day Last Thursday--written informally (i.e. I didn't spend time editing it) 10:30 am Wake up late—WTF? I went to sleep at 1:30AM! I thought I’d wake up at 9:30. I...[More]

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Girls Gone Wild

April 03, 2004
Part of: Hollywood , LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: water by Tiffany Stone Kate and I were standing at the not quite open bar at the new restaurant/ club, Oyster. No party could suck with unlimited Veuve Clicquot. (In my world, Champagne was the new vodka.) The club...[More]

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Witty and Pretty

March 31, 2004
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: Dos Equis and Red Stripe (not really) I was out for drinks the other night at one of the few cool bars on the Westside. The bar was quite dark, but I noticed that one of the bartenders was...[More]

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Quest for Heat in Los Angeles

March 04, 2004
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: toast with cashew butter and blueberry preserves My portable heater broke a while back, so I’ve been freezing my ass off. Trying to find a heater has been my second job, because they are out of season. Last time...[More]

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Aisle or Window Seat?

February 05, 2004
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Travel

Breakfast: same as yesterday I was watching Seinfeld the other night. The episode was based around flying. Jerry and Elaine ended up getting bumped off a flight, so they were rewarded with one first class ticket. Jerry got the first...[More]

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Only in L.A.

February 03, 2004
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

*Edit at end of post Breakfast: chai soy latte and egg in a hole (this really good olive bread egg thing) from The Coral Tree in Brentwood. *This was an e-mail my friend and I received that cracked me up....[More]

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Girls Gone Wild

January 22, 2004
Part of: Hollywood , LA , Seinfeld-esque

by Tiffany Stone Kate and I were standing at the not quite open bar at the new restaurant/ club, Oyster. No party could suck with unlimited Veuve Clicquot. (In my world, champagne was the new vodka.) The club had an...[More]

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Match.com

January 12, 2004
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

* For now on any ANONYMOUS comments will be deleted. Thank You. Meal Du Jour: I don't usually like cheap restaurants, but there was a commercial last night for The Olive Garden: All you can eat soup, salad and bread...[More]

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Why Allen Ginsburg was Jealous of Me--I Swear!

December 18, 2003
Part of: Literati , Seinfeld-esque

* I apologize for my lack of editing on this piece. I wanted to get it up today,like I promised. I've said before that my pieces here are not perfectly edited. I already spend too much time editing my non-blog...[More]

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I Saw Jason Alexander Naked

November 25, 2003
Part of: Hollywood , LA , Seinfeld-esque , Television

Breakfast: Spega Decaf Low Fat Yogurt (Imported from Italy) I saw the Sunday matinee of The Producers. It was amusing, though too long at three hours. My friend L let me borrow some binoculars. L said, “Look, Tiffany, the conductor...[More]

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Stone at the Movies...

November 12, 2003
Part of: Hollywood , Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

Breakfast: vegetarian mini-pizza After receiving two particularly disconcerting phone calls, I decided to hide out at the movies. I’ve now seen three movies since Saturday: The Station Agent, Mystic River and Under the Tuscan Sun. I’ve learned, yet again, how...[More]

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Fat or Fiction?

November 10, 2003
Part of: Fashion , Food , LA , Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

I ran into an acquaintance, B, at my local coffeehouse today. She was wearing a fabulous tangerine-colored double breasted pea coat. B is always dressed to the 9’s. I admit, I was impressed she was so stylish at 10AM on...[More]

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I am an Addict

November 07, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

Breakfast: 2 pumpkin pineapple mini muffins I went to Manhattan Beach for the day to write. Of course, I left the hard copy of my story I was going to work on at my apartment. I don’t like to bring...[More]

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Beautiful Breasts

November 06, 2003
Part of: LA , Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: 3 wheat-free pumpkin (w/ pineapple on top) mini muffins from Mani's. I am very sad that Pamela Anderson got her breast implants restored. How cool was it when she took them out? That took guts, since they were part...[More]

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I Want to Ruin My Love Life

October 27, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

Breakfast: Rice Crispy Treat My dad recently went to a conference where Ben Stein was one of the speakers. He let me borrow Ben Stein’s “How to Ruin Your Life” and “How to Ruin Your Love Life.” I figured I...[More]

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Rabbit Food

October 22, 2003
Part of: Food , LA , Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life , Television

Breakfast: Rice Crispy Treat My sweet friend, J, had me over for homemade asparagus soup last night. I ate it, despite the fact that I knew my cold would break because of the cream. And it did. I had been...[More]

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Mad Magazines

October 10, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

My magazine subscriptions are out of control. Magazines I subscribe to: 1. The New Yorker 2. Vanity Fair 3. Allure Gift subscriptions: 1. National Geographic 2. Harper's Bazaar 3. Interview 4. Self 5. Lucky 6. Entertainment Weekly For Christmas, a...[More]

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Law and Order continued...

October 10, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

There was a knock at our door. The other attorney was ready for us. C went to the bathroom, and I introduced myself to the enemy, H. H was a black man, too. However, he was overweight with a very...[More]

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Law and Order

October 08, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

Hmmm… I need to try and finish this before the real (?) “Law and Order” comes on. I didn’t sleep very well last night due to some anxiety over the deposition today. I got out of bed at 8AM (early...[More]

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Minority Report

October 08, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

* I wrote this back in May. I was in a car accident a year and a half ago, and the insurance company didn't want to pay my entire medical bill or compensate me for my lost wages. I had...[More]

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Average People Suck

September 23, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

Usually, I believe (for the most part) that people can do whatever they want as long as they aren’t hurting others. A trip to Barnes and Noble today changed my mind. The tables are always packed there, that’s a given....[More]

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Artsy Video Store--Take 3

August 26, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

I thought I would finally get out of the video store without incident. Artsy Clerk #2 was smiling at me through his curled up moustache, "Hey, you know there is a dollar late fee on the account." "Okay, I'll just...[More]

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Porn Star

August 25, 2003
Part of: NYC , Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

A clerk at my local "artsy" video store said, “Tiffany sounds like a James Bond girl.” Most unoriginal men have said it sounded like a porn star's name. When I told "artsy" clerk that, he gave me a sly look,...[More]

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I Know Nothing

August 25, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

My hipster balloon was recently popped. I went to my local “artsy” video store to rent two movies. I had called my movie in, so I went straight to checkout. I was in an okay mood and decided to be...[More]

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I Was Not A Leader

August 20, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque

In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing. ~ Theodore Roosevelt Yeah, I am feeling guilty for not standing up for the homeless...[More]

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Post Office Drama

August 18, 2003
Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Slice of Life

I just went to the post office and stood unnecessarily in line for fifteen minutes. My box had overflowed and I needed to collect a very large package-so large it didn’t fit into the bigger boxes! I thought to myself,...[More]

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